Eeper Weeper, chimbly sweeper,
Had a wife but couldn't keep her.
Had another, didn't love her,
Up the chimbly he did shove her.


As a Queen one always hears tales of the more gruesome aspects of humanity, yet it seems I had more than my fair share - as was the case when I came across the revolting man known as "Eeper Weeper".

Born a poor chimney sweep Eeper Weeper was a man who had one saving grace, that was to say he was devoted to his wife - indeed every day Eeper Weeper would tell her how much he loved her and showered her with gifts and affection.

I won't lie, if I had no heard the rest of Eeper Weeper's tale I would of thought him a loving man, instead I remember him as a vile traitor to my kingdom..

You see one day Eeper Weeper returned home to find his wife gravely ill, unable to help her he called on the aid of several doctors - unfortunately for Eeper Weeper his wife did not recover and he soon found himself burying her by the quiet meadow they had first met.

Several years went by and Eeper Weeper seemed to have moved on, finding himself a new wife - a young woman, full of life and eager to please her new husband despite the reluctance of her woodcutter father to hand her over to Eeper Weeper, as if the poor man could sense the danger his daughter was about to put herself in..

Yet a father's love is great and in the end he gave into his daughter's plea and she and Eeper Weeper moved in together - theirs was a loveless marriage, as the poor girl soon found to her peril.

Frequent beatings and neglect were Eeper Weeper's only gift to his now imprisoned "wife" - whom he kept under lock and key, the neighbors growing increasingly suspicious of the chimney sweep and his increasingly erratic behavior.

Then one night the neighbors commented on a terrible noise comng from Eeper Weeper's home, the next day several of my own guards entered the home and found to their horror that Eeper Weeper had dragged the girl across the room and shoved her up a chimney, the girl having died in the ensuing struggle.

I had Eeper Weeper executed that very day, his last words before his fate were the babblings of a man in a hat telling him that he could see his late wife again - in a twisted way I suppose that mysterious man was right.. for now Eeper Weeper will never again harm another innocent soul under my protection..

(part of the Citizens of Wonderland trilogy: Doctor Fell / Eeper Weeper / Little Poll Parrot)

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